I watched the Oscars the other
night and while I do like trying to guess who’s gonna take home the statuette,my main focus is on what the celebs are wearing as they glide down the Red
Carpet.
Three hours before the actual
start of the awards ceremony, I settled into my favorite chair, armed with a
tall cold one and bag of Fritos to keep my energy up until dinner.
Garth looked at me with tears in
his eyes. Most likely because he knew I’d be holding the “big” TV hostage for
the next six hours.
“Why are you in front of the tube
already?” he bemoaned.
Hard to believe he even asked me
that question.
“They’re gonna start walking the
carpet soon. I don’t want to miss what anyone is wearing.”
“Who cares?"
The man obviously hails from
another planet.
“Get real, Garth. The awards are
nice, but it’s all about the clothes.”
His head hanging in shame, Garth dragged
himself to the “small” TV room like Dead Man Walking.
Call me crazy, but ever since I
drooled over Cher in a Bob Mackie, I’ve been obsessed with the Oscar fashions
on parade. I’m so bad, I even go online the day after…not to recap who won what, but who wore what…just in case I missed something when nature called.
Actually, I relish Google-ing to
see if I agree with the fashionista critics choices of who’s dress was
horrifying and who’s look was “all the rage”. What can I say? It’s an illness.
Not that anyone asked my opinion
(which they should have) but nothing popped for me this year. It seemed like
either dark-colored gathered gowns or draped pale pastels reigned supreme for
ingénues, oldies but goodies and pregnant presenters alike. There was
definitely a bonanza of beads & bangles and a few token doily-dresses were
thrown into the mix for good measure.
Speaking of which, I do think Julia
needs a new fashion stylist. Her black
lace doily-dress-on steroids was borderline Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey and LaRobert’s choice of
wearing a man-shirt stuffed into the top of her strapless gown to the Golden
Globe awards left much to be desired (guess Whoopi missed that memo). But I digress.
The 2013 ensembles were definitely more fun
to critique. I didn’t notice any wardrobe malfunctions or peek-a-boo-boo
dresses this go-round. And the only thing that came close to Melissa McCarthy
in a gray draped tent last year was Liza Minnelli in an electric blue pajama
set. However, the matching streak in her hair definitely added the missing pizzazz
element …. not!
Those are all the meeeoowwws for now. But I’ll let you in on
a little insider secret. Well, it’s not that much of a secret, really. I’m sure
you already know that some of those stars get paid beaucoup bucks to wear those
clothes and tout the designers who fashioned them. Shocking!
Still, if I had access to Dior Haute Couture, Vintage Valentino or even good ole Bob
Mackie, I think I could do a little better…unless the price was right, of
course. Meeooow.
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