Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

Has anyone noticed all the ads suddenly popping up for hair removal remedies?

Granted, summer is fast approaching and with that comes the dreaded body analysis. No, I’m not referring to the usual diet-to-try-to-squeeze-into-last-year’s-swimsuit examination. I’m talking winter hair growth…and more specifically...its removal. 

I’m of the belief that hair seems to grow more dense and thick during the winter months. Kinda like a bear in hibernation. When you stick your head out of your cave to look at the spring flowers, you suddenly notice about six months of furry stuff covering your body.

It was easy to hide unshaven legs under boots or long pants, and unattended armpits secretly lurked under layered blouses and sweaters (you know who you are).  But once the warm weather sets in, all attempts at hair-hiding are off.

Unlike some foreign countries, I don’t think hairy legs or armpits will ever be in style in the US. It seems like American women are obsessed with purging their bodies of every tiny hair follicle. They’ll go to just about any length and spend a small fortune to rid themselves of unwanted growth.

Guess they’re not the only ones. Now, men are even joining in the crusade to jettison chest and back hairs. Some women might agree it’s about time the male species endure painful procedures like slathering yards of hot wax on sensitive parts of the anatomy then yanking out the black hairy buggers at their roots. Why should the ladies be the only ones sitting immobile while a technician fries body parts with a Star-Trek-like laser beam?  

Now everyone can get in on the guarantee to rid the upper lip of that nasty brown caterpillar they’ve sported for years or the five-o-clock shadow that knows no end.

For those who aren't brave enough to endure much pain, there are “natural” methods of hair removal from which to select. Once practiced by the ancients, “Stringing” or “Threading” is making a big come-back into modern culture.

I looked up the how-to online, but after reading the complex instructions that involved the equivalent of trying to snag a tiny single hair by a cats-cradle maze of taught string,  I decided a video might make it easier to figure out.

At first I thought I was watching “Fifty Shades of Grey” the home version, ‘cause the poor lady looked like she was going to hang herself. I was more confused after viewing the video then when I started, and decided to avoid attempting any such maneuver on my own.

You’ve probably notice those TV commercials advertising a product called the “No-No”. It looks like a tiny Smartphone, only it removes hair instead of giving you brain cancer or arthritis in your thumbs. Ditto with the “mē™ smooth” gizmo which resembles a miniature walkie-talkie. 

Both sounded painless and since a bazillion satisfied users couldn’t be wrong, my curiosity got the best of me. I had to check it out. I spotted them at my local BBB store and the store manager almost had to call the paramedics when I saw the prices…well over $200 for the No-No and the me-me closed in on a mere $400. 

I guess it’s a bargain when compared to years of painful waxing or laser treatments. But truth be told, no matter how you approach it, stubble removal is a financially hair raising experience.

Bottom line:  if you need to get rid of the hair, but don’t have the $$ to spare, the DIY string method may just be the answer to prayer.  Budda-boom!