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Friday, December 12, 2014

Christmas TV for Crying Out Loud!

Does anyone need a good cry? Just turn on the TV and you’ll find a plethora of sappy Holiday movies that will fit the bill. 

In our local guide, instead of rating the movies by stars or thumbs-up, this month you’ll see pictures of little Kleenex boxes. “Christmas Miracle” and “Comfort & Joy” each earned four tissues. Those should be your first choice.
The Hallmark and Lifetime channels are definitely leading the line-up of sugary Christmas flicks like “Window Wonderland”, “Under the Mistletoe” and “Dear Santa”.
It’s not that I’m a heartless Scrooge, but let’s be honest. How many of these overloaded saccharin-fests can one watch without a visit to the dentist?
My taste leans toward the Holiday Classics. What’s better than chomping on popcorn watching Alastair Sim in “A Christmas Carol” or that little gum-snapping, sassy-pants, Natalie Wood in “Miracle on 34th Street”?

Just don’t ask me to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Not that I have anything against Jimmy Stewart, mind you. It’s his little girl I can’t stand. Her squeaky voice pierces my ears like a thousand fingernails scraping against a blackboard. Whenever I hear her whine, “Every time a bell rings an angels gets his wings”, I want to pour acid in my ears.

Between you and me, my favorite is National Lampoon’s “Christmas Vacation”. I’ve seen it a zillion times and still belly laugh whenever Cousin Eddie empties his RV’s latrine down the sewer in front of the Griswold’s house. Now THAT’S a heartfelt Christmas tale!
If you’re like me, and a good Christmas cry isn’t your thing, don’t despair. There’s something for everyone this Holiday TV season.
   Movies featuring wannabe celebs:
          “Christmas Angel in the House” with K.C. Clyde & Kari Hawker 
          “All About Christmas Eve” with Hallie Duff & Chris Carmack    
   Christmas Action:
          “Holiday Heist” or “The Santa Switch”
   Christmas Comedy:
          “Christmas Under Wraps” (get it?) 
          “Meet the Santas”(must be a Flockers take-off, it was on at midnight)
   Naughty(?) Christmas Specials:
          “Kristin’s Christmas Past”, “Love at the Christmas Table” or 
          “Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus”

Don’t worry if you missed any of these great holiday movies. I’m sure they’ll be repeated…and repeated…and repeated. You see, these are only two nights of TV listings—so you still have a dozen more to go.
It’s enough to make anyone cry!

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